


Closer Apart

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Guilt, Jealousy, Loneliness, Masturbation, Masturbation Guilt, Obsession, Other, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:08:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5229809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon is missing Arin.<br/>Maybe a little too much.<br/>Another short egotron fic. </p><p>(Warning: themes of loneliness, obsession and probably depression. This fic is pretty sad. You have been warned.)</p><p>((THIS IS LITERALLY SO SHORT OH GOD))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closer Apart

It's so hard sometimes. It's hard to see him having fun without me. I know it's selfish but he was all mine at one point. All mine. I loved him, honestly I did. I wouldn't have anyone else.  
I don't really want to move on. It's been a couple years now but... He's still on my mind more than he should be.  
Sometimes when we're in the same place we go grab lunch like old times. Just us, Jon and Arin, like the good old days.  
It's not like I'm jealous of Danny. I like Danny. But... He replaced me.  
Replaced.  
That word rings around my head.  
Replaced.  
Does Arin even still think of me? Not often, probably.  
He understood why I moved though, didn't he?  
I want to see him again.  
I can't bare his absence.  
Here I am, sitting on my empty bed with nobody but myself to keep me company. There's only a little light in here from inside. I feel like crying. I want Arin back.  
He was my best friend, he was... So much more to me.  
I loved him.  
No.  
I love him.  
Arin's on my mind as I'm laying back. Memories flood back to me. His gorgeous brown eyes and soft hair, ending about his jawline. His smile, his little perky nose.  
The way he looked at me.  
The way every time he touched me my skin would tingle and my heart would pound, mouth turning dry as I tried to hide my feelings.  
Is this love? Or an obsession?  
I take out my phone and bring up a picture of Arin. My favourite picture.  
He's looking at the camera, he looks handsome, a soft smile playing on his lips. He looks gorgeous, so gorgeous that I can feel my heart rate increase. I stare at the picture, my brain melting inside my head as his beauty stings my eyes in the darkness of the room.  
I knew this would happen.  
I can't help myself.  
My shorts come off, underwear off, naked from the waist down. Two fingers enter my mouth and I suck whilst observing Arin, eyebrows furrowed as I fight away the tears and focus on the empty, one sided pleasure.  
My fingers are wet.  
They go to my backside, pushing past the cheeks and prodding at my asshole.  
Fuck.  
What am I doing?  
Am I really doing this? Am I really masturbating to a picture of Arin?  
Don't think too much, Jon. Just... Do it. It'll give you a few minutes high and you can float back down again in miserable loneliness.  
I push my fingers in, giving a sharp moan as the two digits penetrate me. I don't dabble in the likes of stretching or building up a pace. I start thrusting quickly, fingers slipping in and out of my hole with fluid motions. My eyes are set on Arin, his beautiful face. I can't bare this. The pain tugs at my heart, like he's got it in his hands and he's squeezing. Squeezing the muscle so tight.  
I can't.  
I can't stop myself.  
I call his name out, desperate for him, desperate for release.  
I close my eyes and avoid Arin now, the guilt already setting in before I've even came. I pull my hand away from my backside and start pumping my cock, putting my hand over my face and trying to blank out my mind.  
But the image is still burned into the insides of my eyelids.  
Arin.  
Arin.  
Arin.  
"Arin!!" I gasp deeply and arch my back slightly, cumming with a loud yelp.  
Slouching back against the bed, the regret sets in and I feel awful again.  
I want Arin. I love Arin.  
But I can't have him, not anymore. There's no going back now.  
I'll see him again, but will he be mine..? No. Never.  
Not ever.


End file.
